I’ve been living here for almost
two years now but nothing has ever changed with how I admire the view of Lucena
from the fourth floor chapel. The view continues, even until now, to remind me
of so many things in my life.
The
view was just too infused with glamour for my mind to deprive my eyes of
witnessing it. During the day, when it seems like it is being scorched by the
burning heat of the sun, it reminds me of the place I used to see face to face.
It was the place I have loved and the place wherein everything that I loved
was. At night, the view was a still water that merely reflects the things
above, the darkness together with the glimmering brightness of the stars which
seems like little diamond sparks. It was a place where I have dreamt of love –
a place of love itself.
Whenever
I glance to this beautiful scenery, I’ve always thought of all my ideas before.
It was the place where I’ve once thought that I had nothing to lose with my
life, the place where I thought my past soul has fallen apart because of all
the hurts and miseries, the place where I thought I decided to gamble with
myself. It doesn’t just remind me of my past, it was my past itself. How ironic
that now it makes me wish that it’d be my future as well.
 |
| What everything and nothing mean for me.... |
It
was the view that pictures her, the one that I have loved. She was just as
normal as anyone just like how normal the scenery can be. Yet for me, she was
more than that. Three years ago it was when I was so lucky to caught a glimpse
of her and by then she was then already as dazzling as the sun and as
shimmering as the stars. She was like the city overview itself and though she
isn’t part of it, I know that she is near. She is just like the scenery itself,
too vibrant with her abundant glamour to prevent myself from admiring her but
yet too far to be reached by my hand and heart.
At
the same it was the view of the place that taught me how to be a fake. It was
the fakeness itself, with me as an individual included. It reminds me of the
place which embedded in my brain the idea that everyone is fake and that all of
them loves the idea of fakeness. It was the place which made me realize how
fake I am as well and mostly, it was the thing that made me see that the place
I am currently standing on is much faker.
It
was a reminder of all the miseries and sufferings mixed with love and pleasure
and everything. It was something I have hated, and at the same time loved. It
was a reminder of her, and a reminder that I can’t be with her. It was a fake
and it was something that made me realize that it was, indeed.
It was a view of everything, and at the same time, a view of nothing. It was really great – that overview. (February 27, 2016)
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