Author's note:

Author's note:

Miyerkules, Oktubre 26, 2016

Thanks, Kierkegaard

All it took me was a lesson from my friend, Soren Kierkegaard.
I was on my way to reading the 10th chapter of John Green’s ‘The Fault in our Stars’ when the beadle knocked on my door.
“Let me see that”, he said. I handed him the book. He took it then whispered “Lights off!” with his annoying facial expression.
Congratulations, self! You just let that idiot take your book.
As I surrender my head, face first, on my pillow after the beadle left, I was already burning with anger. Then, my mind was already constructing so many ideas like putting him down through my column in our school paper by enumerating his endless flaws or like breaking rules to piss him more and so on. I fell asleep with my soul saying: “Did he just took my book and deprived me of reading? I swear I’ll die before I let this slide!”
When I opened my eyes, I immediately saw my newly-purchased John Green shelf with a small space between the Paper Towns and Looking for Alaska that made me remember everything that happened last night. By then, I was again enraged that resulted to me, not being able to concentrate on praying and on the celebration of the mass.
Image result for soren kierkegaard
Thanks, man!
My brain was so busy planning for revenge when I accidentally heard the priest (our class’ adviser and my very own spiritual director), delivering his homily by relating the gospel with the Existentialist Philosopher Soren Kierkegaard’s Subjective Truth.
By that my whole self was put to pondering. Kierkegaard, in relation to his subjective truth, said that the thing is to find the truth which is true for me, the idea with which I can live and die.
I believe in the truth that I did nothing wrong in last night’s incident. It was the idea which is true for me and that made everything right like the plans for revenge and the ideas of putting him down and so on. But then, thinking about it, it doesn’t even look right. Then what is all this? Is Kierkegaard wrong?
That thought made me realize my part. The idea of me, doing nothing wrong last night wasn’t the truth even for my very own self to believe. I was the one who is wrong the whole time. The problem for me is that I wasn’t brave to accept it.
Kierkegaard was right on the subjective truth, indeed. The truth really isn’t something that can be handed out on a plate. It is something found, accepted and committed through a painful way.
Now the truth is that I broke a rule. I guess it’s time to face it and commit to that truth. Thanks for the lesson Kierkegaard. (February 19, 2016)

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