August 5th thoughts

By this moment, the afternoon has passed and the twilight’s taking over the vast sky. With its orangey aura that had drenched the seemingly patterned clouds and the trees of the mountains beginning to hide in the inevitable darkness, I’ve thought of you.

Years have already passed since the first day I’ve met you and years have already passed when I realized the feelings that, until now, is kept in the deepest corner of my heart. Through that long time, which feels like a passing hour, have made me accept the fact that thoughts like this, thoughts about you when I stare into an invisible void against the beauty of the scenery, is something that’ll always come in me, simple thoughts that shape who I became after a long time of knowing you.

Sitting alone in this balcony, with a pen in my hand and with my arm resting on a spiral notebook that I always carry, I am certain now that it will always be in me to think of you. The softness of your smile and the innocence and charm you always drool around seems to be an impossible thing to forget than the beauty of this twilight I am staring at right now.

Amidst this war between darkness and light, I remember as well myself. There’s always the meaning and the definition of who I am and what I ought to be just like the clouds in the sky that floats for so many people to see, clouds which shift from one form to another, yet remaining in the sky for so long a time. Knowing who I am and defining myself will always be done by me, yet without you, my sky, I will never be. Others can see what they’ve seen in me yet on my part; there will always be an incompleteness without you who defines me.

For so many times my consciousness eluded me about it having a sort of primacy over existence. For once, I’ve thought that this darkness that has now ended that beautiful twilight is something I can control and that was when I’ve fantasized that the feeling I’ve had would return to me and so yeah, I was dead wrong with that, though I’ve never regretted that. A little bit of sugar-coating in life somehow feels good, and so I’ve made my excuse of sticking with it for a time until I realized that I can’t prevent the darkness of the night and that the cold- breeze it brought is now soothing my skin with a reminder of how one-sided that love was. It doesn’t exist in reality, indeed, this sugar-coated story of mine, yet it will have its self-contained universe which will always be free from judgments and will never be compromised, just like the scenery of the twilight earlier, where I have created a self-contained story that will never be known in the reality to which I am bounded forever.

A little bit of light is still fighting in the outskirts of the mountains that bring silhouettes of the trees it handles, just like me struggling to prevent myself from bursting into thoughts I’ve so much wanted to share. My handwriting now is distorted with the shaking of my hands, scared that I am running out of time yet in my soul I knew I’d have forever to make up for everything and for you. In my mind, though I know the line gets thinner and thinner as the light fades, there’ll be twilight in tomorrow’s reality, another chance to think and to dwell on what I’ll think. It will be another cycle and I know it’s on me again to make it another part of the reality I so much wanted to grasp within me.

I’m keeping my self together now, blinded in the darkness that envelopes the sky that was once loved because of its sweet face. The evidence of the sun’s presence now swept away in a place who knows where and the darkness no one can fathom now covers everything it can. But then, despite all of these, I am here and I think of you and regardless of neither the twilight’s beauty nor the darkness’ emptiness, I will always love you. (written Saturday, August 5th)

4th of June

I was compromised again.
The world really isn't a wish granting factory for everyone.
I would have used my soul but I didn't. I didn't... because using so means the outcome that I'd never get to win the world I desire.
Will I be always that Wynand and can never be a Roark?

On Compromises

                  As the 2^nd Semester of the school year came to its last weeks, I’ve had the feeling against the upcoming summer apostolate. I believe it’s not the kind of feeling of laziness or disgust because I don’t feel such. It’s not that I am lazy or it’s not that I hate apostolate. I’ve had 3 summer apostolates already and in each of them I’ve felt that kind. I’ve been able to finish each and every one of it with disgust but in toto, each was something, as I realize it, I’ve come to enjoy but this one in Tiaong, I don’t think so.

                It’s not about Tiaong, not the place. That’s another

premise. I’ve had something against apostolates that I’ve come to realize even before I was sent off to Tiaong. I once said it to myself as I did some thinking. For me, I think apostolates compromise one’s ego and it’s totally undeniable. I knew it then, but I don’t seem to mind and that, I guess it is the problem because during my last apostolate, I I’ve come to pay attention to that fact very much and that is why I’ve had one hell of a month.

                Now, about the compromise I’ve said, I said it because my ego, who is not supposed to be bound with limitations were bounded because of me. I’ve let myself be subdued by people I

don’t know, and my reason is just to finish so that I could be on my own afterwards. It’s like staying alive in the hands of bad guys, obeying and giving up everything so that one day I could free myself and take my revenge by doing what my ego was supposed to do – be what it is.

                I guess this is the problem, the values of apostolates and the values of my ego aren’t the same. Apostolates teach us to be dependent on others, doing what it requires while compromising those that I want. Living in places I don’t know, being with people who are complete strangers, being bound to so many prohibitions,

these are just few of them and my ego hate every single one of them, these things compromise so much that I can’t help but be some fake, paper person who folds to anything so that I would be what they want.

                Because of all these things, I knew even before that I wouldn’t be having any fun in my month-long stay in Tiaong. Because these things floated my mind, I knew I would hate so many people and see things in their chaotic faces and when I say people, I mean there’s no exception.

                I would be lying if I’ve only felt this much bitterness. Of

course there came a time in my stay that I was able to put up smiles and break a laugh. That’s another thing. It’s my ego that can’t help but mingle. It’s not like every people in Tiaong was a lost soul. There were others with whom I’ve come to realize that have the values I have, and for that I was able to make good friends. I’ve made friends, that’s a fact but so few of them could be considered. Some were just for my ego’s survival, nothing more.

                Commands were also what I hate the most. To tell me to do things I don’t like is something that agitates me. But then, because I need to finish, my fake ego made it all work out in the

end. Coming to think of it, I’ve had less work in my apostolate in Tiaong. Unlike my past apostolates which were so productive in my perspective, I did so less in the place. Maybe it’s because I did too much thinking in that hell month.

                Many of my friend seminarians would consider us lucky. Only this time did the apostolate in Tiaong be parish bound. The past seminarians were doing apostolates in far flung places of Tiaong. Though I don’t like the thought, living in the parish for a month and seeing so much about how the place ran, I’ve once come to the wish I were also living in those far-flung places.

                Now, as to the other premise I was saying a little earlier, another factor why I’ve come to dislike my month-long apostolate was brought about by the place itself. I’ve experienced Tiaong in its luxurious Villa Escudero, and I’ve come to admire the beauty of the structure of the town while endlessly roaming the streets which were too structured well in a plain manner that makes a stroll quite a thing. I’ve also seen the faith of the people and the devotion they’ve had. Tiaong indeed has so many things to brag about. Still, there’s so much of the bad side that I’ve witnessed with my bare eyes.

                So many people who live there were corrupted greatly. The eyes I saw in the crowds were full of something I can’t explain. I’ve seen people who were nothing great. There were people who show goodness even though I can smell how their insides stink. A lot smile when they face us but talks a lot when we weren’t around. Church people serve only the church, but forget those who sacrifice for it. Priests seem bugged. They do their work, yes but that’s where it ends. Tiaong is beautiful, but inside it is an upheaval I don’t ever want to remember for the rest of my life. My month long stay was a nightmare I don’t want in my memory anymore.

                Last night, we’ve had our way through the town, and I’ve come to say it’s been a pleasure, and quite a big pain. What makes me happy now is the fact that Tiaong will now be just a memory about my past that I would never ever relive again, a memory of a place that once compromised my ego so much. Now, it’s just a part of my memory about my ego who was subdued and bounded but is now and will ever be as free. 

'Mind' strike

     Randian Philosophy, Objectivism, upholds the supremacy of man, of man’s ego, of man’s reason, in short, of man’s self. This system expressed importance to individuals as individuals, and expressed its disdain to humanity, for being a hindrance to the exaltation of man. It showed how important and how high the “I” is as it should be and it showed how bad and rotten the “we” is as it is now.

     It’s always been the root cause of the many problems a seminarian is facing, even ordinary people. It took me years to realize the negative things the “we” is bringing to each and every individual. That “we” is always a factor to consider in every choice an individual makes. There’s no more “I” in every action and every decision one is making.

     One seminarian will enter the seminary not because he wants to but because of the people around him who wants him to. One seminarian will continue because his classmates continued and he can’t live without his classmates, so he says. One will disobey the seminary rules because his friends are doing it and he wants to join because they want him to. One will be stubborn and lazy because he sees that the others are being the same. One won’t strive for excellence anymore because not everybody is doing so. Every thought, every action, every decision, everything is considered with the “we”. It’s because of that “we” that an individual doesn’t care anymore of what he thinks, and of what he wills. It’s rotten. It’s truly and definitely rotten.

     Every one of us has our own, respective minds. Each one of us has the power to be, to think, to decide, and to act. There’s no such thing as collective mind. Everything about ourselves depends on our “I”, on our “ego”. If we want to change, and we should change, it should all start in us.

     Being ‘selfless’ was the term Miss Rand used to an individual who doesn’t think but let others think for him, by having others’ decision as his own as well. He is being selfless, in the sense that he loses himself because doesn’t use his reason anymore. He has the power to think, to act, to be, but he refuses to do so. Just like a seminarian who always agrees to what the others think, even if he has his own idea or a seminarian who always submit himself to things without even understanding anything about those.

     I myself have been dissolved in that overwhelming “we” for so many years. I’ve always been so considerate with what the others may say that it brought me to the point of not making any decision of my own. I do what the others like me to do. I’ve been selfless, in the sense that I am not myself anymore but a puppet of the “we”. Being controlled by others is one of the many things we hate but then, considering other’s opinion in what we do is a total submission to that statement we hate.

     I call for a mind strike.

     Let’s renounce the “we” and reinstate the “I”. All the things that we do should come from our own volition, not from other people. Let us join the others that share the same value with us and depart from them if we don’t. The same goes with the seminary formation. We cooperate with the formation because we share the same value, the same end – priesthood. If you don’t, then be brave enough to use your reason and part ways. Do not submit to something you don’t want, to something that you know won’t be essential for your life. To those who want to be a priest, then continue with the formation, because I am certain that as long as we value priesthood and Christ, then we totally share the same value with the formation.

     To be selfless in the sense of not using reason is not something that we as individuals should do. It’s totally against our nature and it will lead us in total frustration and even in self-destruction. To have our minds be influenced by others is the same as having our minds controlled by them. We should want what we want, as individuals. There’s no point in joining what you don’t like. If the whole world is wrong and it tells you to move, you say: No! You move! If using your own reason, your own mind means standing for what you think is right and fighting alone, then so be it.

     If only we fought for our “I” in everything we are, in every action we do, and in every decision we make, then we’ll certainly be what we should be – the man who has his own reason, his own mind, and most specially, his own self. By using our own minds, we uphold our supremacy. We uphold our own selves. 

An Iron Monger

Someone who is ready to correct the wrong he has done...

Metals were clanging their way out

Vibrating in the walls with only one escape

Heavy thuds of feet aroused his might

Stepping out of the dark with glazing height

Slit of his eyes produces endless fears

Oppressing everything, creating much grim

Emitting fatal blow to his heart in the scene

Grieving is no use in front of this giant

Smashing even the dust which finds the way out

Escorting fear side by side of every man

Launching rockets and bullets from the hand

Indeed, no one can get away from this iron clad

My personal review on "My Ex and Whys" movie

My Ex and Whys was actual life filmed.

Liza Soberano as Calixta Ferrer wasn’t just beautiful. She was also a reality played in a movie. Cali isn’t only a character but a mirror of who we really are. In many ways, we are also the Gio Martinez, played by Enrique Gil, in the lives of others.

            “When you choose to love, dapat tapat. Kasi kung mahal mo, bakit mo sasaktan?”

            Cali was right, indeed. It is a complete irony that we choose to love yet we keep on being the source of pain to all those we love. Let us ask ourselves the same question that bugged Cali and Gio – “WHY?”

                Like Gio, we promised to love… then we ask those who we love to trust us. But as we go on, we break those promises that we’ve made, not knowing that doing so causes a lot of pain to the ones we love. Why?

            Like Cali, we accept to be loved… then when we get hurt by a single mistake, we curse, and then promise ourselves never to give them a chance again and stop loving them. Why?

            Gio and Cali answered their questions through themselves. It’s none other than understanding, forgiveness, and trust.

            We ourselves know that these are the answers. It’s just that we are too ignorant, and because we don’t really understand what it takes to love and to be loved. Love isn’t just about the happiness and the togetherness. It’s not only about what we feel, but also what the ones we love feel.

            We need understanding. We need to understand that love requires one to understand the other. Love is totally mutual. It’s the understanding of both the lover and the ones who receive the love. Why Cali and Gio had a broken relationship is that they both failed to understand one another.

Gio, on his part, failed to understand that Cali treasured their relationship too much. He didn’t realize that it would hurt Cali so much since she gets too affected easily in terms of cheating. This is why he took it for granted and cheated on her.

Cali, on the other hand, failed to understand the circumstances around Gio as he cheated. She became selfish in the sense that she didn’t give Gio a chance to explain himself, thus ending up ignoring his eagerness in asking for forgiveness for his shortcomings.

Forgiveness was another thing that was lacking in both of them. Forgiveness should not be considered as a trait of what people call: “martir”. Forgiveness is an essential part of love. We know for ourselves that shortcomings and mistakes are undeniably done by us. But then, like Cali’s attitude, we loved while thinking that those we love don’t have even a single one and it’s totally stupid. On the other side, we think that when we commit mistakes, like in the case of Gio, we would be forgiven easily. We are so full of ourselves and think that a single mistake in nothing for others.

“Gusto mong magmahal pero ayaw mong magtiwala”, one of Cali’s friends said to her. How can that be? Of course that can’t be. Trust gives meaning to love. One cannot love without trusting and it goes the same the other way around. Love cannot be considered true if there’s no trust in it.

Love is truly a gamble. When we love, we trust those we love that they be faithful to us. Still, true love doesn’t end with that. True love means we trust, then we trust, then we trust again. When there’s trust, mistakes will be like nothing. When those we love make mistakes, it doesn’t mean we stop trusting them. It only means that they should be reminded that something will be lost if they do so again, thus cherishing the relationship all the more than what they have in the past. It makes the love between two people grow, not despite but through the mistakes and shortcomings they face.

We trust because we love and we love because we trust. We forgive because we love and we love because we forgive. We understand because we love and we love because we understand.

The answer to all our whys is one – LOVE.

The movie posited many questions about love, whys to be exact. “Bakit tayo patuloy na nagmahal?” Why? Why do we keep on loving? It is because we trust, because we forgive, and because we understand. We keep on loving because we want to, simple as that. With love, mistakes and errors and shortcomings that one has will be looked upon not as a reason for us to stop loving but rather to continue loving and even start loving more.

Cali’s statement during the press conference about her ended all her whys. If what she is doing, that is asking whys, is the reason for others to not believe in love, it’s better to stop asking whys and just love.  

I call for the same thing. I think it’s time we stop asking ourselves the whys and just… love.

We as seminarians know this best of all in our relationship with God. When we entered the seminary, we are all that Gio who promised to love, asking for trust from God, our very own Cali. The only thing different is that God understood the meaning of Love too well that He doesn’t stop trusting, forgiving, and loving us, despite of what we are currently doing, and you know what I mean. If God would ask us the same question that Cali gave to Gio the first time they met: “So Mr. Stick-to-one does exist?”, can we answer the same answer Gio gave: “You just found him.”

I guess the rest of the story is for you, for us… to reflect on. Let’s stop asking whys and just… love. Again, as Cali had said and asked: “When you choose to love, dapat tapat. Kasi kung mahal mo, bakit mo sasaktan?”

Noting Lessons from 'Seklusyon'

On the theatrical release poster of the Metro Manila Film Festival entry “Seklusyon” is written the question: “Sapat na ba ang dasal mo laban sa pagsubok ng demonyo?” From then on I was intrigued about what was hidden inside this horror-thriller film until I was able to watch it and see for myself the horror that lies in it.

            Honestly, I decided to watch Seklusyon only because of a second thought. Horror films aren’t really my thing, much more the local ones. I just decided to because I was informed that it was a story about clerical affairs which I believe would uplift my interests since it would be catering me a story which is somehow in parallel with what I am familiar with – priestly and religious matters.

            The very first scene of the movie showed a man on a confession box and from then on I knew I would be having a really good time watching it. The main story frame shows that Seklusyon is a story about the preparation for an upcoming ordination to the priesthood. It was a seven-day seclusion of four deacons in order for them to be prepared spiritually against the temptations of the devil, making that daunting question in its poster very much suitable.

            Watching Seklusyon brought a bit of awkwardness in me, I guess. I have felt very much the relation of the story to that of mine and I believe that was the reason why I felt awkward somehow. Seeing many people watching the story felt like they were at the same time watching me. To have been able to witness the deacons’ negative side like that of Marcos’ when he portrayed his gluttonous attitude by bringing extra food in his room was fun because it was something I myself can attest to its trueness yet on the other hand it was embarrassing to realize that people who see seminarians and priests as nearly as perfect would see the naughty side we’ve got. Another is that of Fabian’s dilemma with his mother and that of Miguel and his relationship issues with Erina. All of these are the realities even we ourselves who are involved are having a hard time to accept.

These were the faces of the other side of seminarians and priests and moreover, this is the reality that everyone should face. To be optimistic, I think it’s a good thing that people was able to see that being involved in the clerical world doesn’t reduce even a bit of humanity. Despite the shame that it brings to us seminarians and priests, it’s the reality that should be faced dauntlessly.

Believe me when I say that Seklusyon is one of the films that left a mark in my mind. I’m saying this not to uplift the film too much that I want you to think it was perfect and flawless. I’m saying this because I want to share that out of all the movies that I was able to watch, this is one of those which portrayed a really good story. It was good in the sense that what it portrayed contains reality and that it left a message and a lesson that one should not forget to take note.

I wouldn’t consider Seklusyon as a horror film if the basis would be the movie’s creepiness. Seriously, Seklusyon wasn’t scary at all (as I have expected from a Filipino horror film). For me, it was a horror because of the story about reality that it brought. That was the thing that made the film able to send chills in the spines of those who watched it.

There were so many points that the story was sending us viewers. One of them was the message brought by the character of Anghela, which was played by the very cute and adorable Rhed Bustamante. The kid was the figure of the devil in the movie. She was a false-prophet and she was the one who made the temptations for the deacons worse. These things were the ones we’ve seen yet underneath these lies the reality of the problems all of us have. Anghela’s lines brought me to pondering about the problems of humanity.

Ang "bulaang propeta"... Anghela Sta. Ana

“Hindi mo naman kailangang tiisin ang gutom mo”. “Ayaw ng Diyos na nahihirapan ka.” “Wala namang mali sa ginagawa mo.”

They’re warm, Anghela’s words. They we’re comforting, consoling, yet they are the reason why problems of every people gets worse. These words make us people much worse.

You see, the deacons represent the face of humanity, struggling against the temptations brought by the devil in the face of Anghela. But then, we must see that in the very first place the conflict starts within our very selves. The negative side of the deacons represents ours as well. It’s in those conflicts that the devil lingers on. Those were our little devils. Another reality is that we know every single one of those conflicts and yet we do nothing about it, just like the deacons not being able to confess their grave sins and their impure intentions that the devils were able to sneak on them.

All of these conflicts were made worse by Anghela’s presence. We’ve heard her words and admit it or not her words sound totally right. But then, underneath it lies the very reality that makes our humanity so frail. It’s given now that the problems of humanity boil within us and that we are not doing anything about it. But here comes many Anghelas, who offer us consoling words and makes us think that our ignorance on problems are completely right, the Anghelas of our lives, who tries to make us see that we don’t need to suffer to achieve an end which would bring us good. Many like her make a point that we humans should only have as our option the things which are pleasurable and that we should avoid suffering even if it can bring us good in the long run. These are the things she offers, and these are the things we buy. We choose the apparent good over the actual good. We ignore our problems and then we believe that it’s good to do so. This makes Seklusyon scary. This is what makes our lives scary.

The ending of the film brought the biggest chill in my spine. The deacons with the exception of Miguel were ordained as priests while not being aware that they were under Anghela’s influence. They were ordained, thinking that they were prepared and that they have overcome the temptations of the devil. This is the scariest of all. They’ve become priests without being able to surpass temptations and being totally ignorant of the conflicts inside them. They’ve become priests while not being able to understand the value of suffering and sacrifices. Most of all, they’ve become priests while having the idea that every choice that they would make should would be for the apparent good and not for the actual one.

This is the real horror. This is Seklusyon. To you my readers, I have a question:

“Sapat na ba ang dasal mo laban sa pagsubok ng demonyo?”

(Written last January 15, 2017 as a feature article for the Rosary Sentinel.. a review of the movie Seklusyon)

"Rosaryo"

Unang una, lubos po ang aking kagalakan dahil para sa akin, isang malaking karangalan ang bagay na ito, ang mabigyan ng pagkakataon na ibahagi sa inyo ang aking nalalaman tungkol sa Mahal na Birheng Maria, lalong lalo na sa kanyang Rosaryo. Ako ay nagdarasal sa kanya na sana sa pamamagitan nito ay maibahagi ko ang mga kahalagahan nito at nang pagdarasal nito.

Para malaman ang kahalagahan nito sa ating mga layko, maganda po na tayo’y magsimula muna sa kasaysayan nito, sa kung paano ito lumaganap at nagsimula.

Hindi man po malinaw ang tunay na pinagmulan nito at nang pagdarasal nito, ang hawak po nang simbahan na basehan nito ay noong ika labintatlong siglo, na ang Mahal na Birheng Maria ay nagpakita kay Santo Domingo at kay Blessed Alan de Roche, habang binabanggit ang mga bagay tungkol sa paglaganap ng debosyong ito.  Noon pong mga panahong iyon ay laganap na ang pagdarasal ng mga monghe ng mga salmo na makikita natin sa ating bibliya. Sinasabi po na ang pagpapalaganap ng pagdarasal ng Santo Rosaryo ay para matulungan tayong mga mananampalataya sa pagpapalago ng ating buhay espiritwal sa pamamagitan ng pagkakaroon nang pang araw araw na pananalangin.

Ang istruktura po nang kumpletong rosaryo ay binubuo nang labinlimang dekada, at ang dekada pong sinasabi ko ay tumutukoy sa 10 aba ginoong maria na pinangungunahan ng isang ama namin at nagtatapos sa isang luwalhati at ang bawat isang dekada po ay umuugnay sa isang mysteryo mula sa buhay ni Kristo. Noong una po, noong hindi pa naitatatag ang mga misteryo nang liwanag ay meron lamang tatlong misteryo at ito nga ay ang mga misteryo ng tuwa, hapis at luwalhati kaya naman noon, ang kabuuan ng santo rosaryo ay binubuo ng labinlimang dekada. Ito po ay kasing dami ng salmo sa ating bibliya, na 150 din kaya naman tinatawag din ang Santo Rosaryo bilang “mga Salmo ni Maria”.

Ito po ang maiksing paglalahad nang kasaysayan at istruktura nang Santo Rosaryo. Ngayon po, akin namang ilalahad ang kahalagahan ng pagdarasal ng Santo Rosaryo.

Bakit po ba tayo nagdarasal ng Santo Rosaryo? Bakit po ba kailangan natin ito kailangang dasalin? Bakit po ba ang Santo Rosaryo ay mahalaga sa buhay natin bilang mga mananampalatayang Kristiyano?

Unang una, tayo po ay nagdarasal nito, at patuloy na nagdarasal nito, sapagkat ito po ay gumagana. Hindi po natin gagawin nang paulit ulit ang isang bagay kung ito naman ay walang naidudulot na mabuti sa atin o sa ating kapwa di po ba? Syempre, nagdarasal po tayo nito sapagkat ito ay may naitutulong sa atin at sa ating kapwa.

Isang magandang pagnilayan po tungkol rito ay ang katotohanan na ang mahal na birheng Maria ay nagbitiw nang mga pangako sa mga taong magdarasal nito. Ito po ay hindi mga pangakong walang kabuluhan kundi ito ay mga malalaking grasya na makakatulong ng malaki sa ating buhay pananampalataya. Hayaan niyo pong isa-isahin ko ang mga bagay na ito:

Una, nangako si Maria na ang lahat ng magdarasal nito ay bibigyan niya nang espesyal na protekyon at mga dakilang grasya.

Pangalawa, ang lahat nang magsusumikap na magdasal nito ay makakatanggap nang  mga grasyang humahalintulad sa mga tanda.

Pangatlo, ang Rosaryo ay isang pananggalang laban sa impyerno. Makakasira nang mga bisyo, makakapag-adya sa kasalanan, at makakapagtanggal nang mga maling turo.

Pang-apat, ang rosaryo ay makakatulong na mapaglago ang mabubuting asal at mabubuting gawa nang isang tao.

Panglima, ang mga taong magtitiwala kay Maria sa pamamagitan nito ay hindi mawawala.

Pang-anim, ang sinumang magdedebosyon sa Santo Rosaryo at magninilay nang husto sa mga misteryo nito ay hindi malalamon nang kamalasan. Magkakaroon nang pagbabalik-loob ang mga makasalanan at ang mga mabubuti ay tatanggap nang buhay na walang hanggan.

Pang-pito, lahat nang totoong magdedebosyon sa pagdarasal ng Santo Rosaryo ay hindi mamatay nang walang tinatanggap na sakramento nang simbahan.

Pangwalo, ang lahat nang magdarasal nito ay, sa kanilang buhay at sa katapusan nito ay mapapasailalim sa liwanag ni Kristo at makikihati sila sa mga tinatamasa nang mga banal sa kalangitan.

Pang-siyam, nangako si Maria na ang lahat nang magdarasal nito ay ipag-aadya niya sa purgatoryo.

Pang-sampu, ang mga anak ni Maria sa pamamagitan nang Rosaryo ay makatitikim nang kaluwalhatiang dulot nang langit.

Pang-labing-isa, ang lahat nang hilingin ninyo sa pamamagitan nang Santo Rosaryo ay inyong kakamtin.

Panglabindawala, lahat nang magpapalaganap nang debosyong ito ay bibiyayaan ni Maria nang tulong sa lahat nang kanilang pangangailangan.

Panglabintatlo, ang lahat nang magdarasal nito ay pinangakuan ni Maria na ipagdarasal nang lahat nang nasa kalangitan.

Panglabing apat, ang lahat nang magdarasal nang Rosaryo ay kanyang mga anak, at kapatid ni Kristo.

Pang Labinlima, ang pagdarasal nang Santo Rosaryo ay isang espesyal na tanda nang mabuting kahahantungan.

Ang mga pangakong ito po ay ilan lamang sa mga grasyang handang ipagkaloob ni Maria at ang mga ito po ay pinapatunayan nang mga taong pinagpakitaan niya. Ang mga ito po ay hindi gawa nang tao kundi mga tunay sa sinabi ni Maria kaya naman tunay na isa ito sa mga pinapahalagahan natin bilang Kristiyano.

Marami pa pong revelasyon ang ipinahayag nang maraming Santo tungkol sa Santo Rosaryo kaya naman ganoon na lamang ang pagdedebosyon nang mga relihiyoso at relihiyosa dito.

Ngayon naman po, bukod po sa mga pangako ni Maria sa mga magdarasal at magdedebosyon sa Santo Rosaryo, hayaan ninyong ibahagi ko ang ilan sa aking mga nalalaman na sa akin pong palagay ay magbibigay sa inyo nang interes tungkol sa Santo Rosaryo.

Ayon po sa aking mga natutunan, ang Santo Rosaryo po ay makatutulong upang mas makilala natin ang mahal na ina. Sa bawat misteryo po ay makikita kasi natin ang malalim na relasyon nang Mahal na Ina sa kanyang anak na si Hesus. Sa bawat pagninilay po natin sa mga misteryo ay, bukod sa napaparangalan natin si Maria, ay mas lalo pa natin siyang nakikilala.

Bukod po dito, ang Santo Rosaryo ay isang instrumento nang pagbabalik loob. Marami na pong pangyayari sa mundong ito ang nabigyan nang konkretong biyaya nang Santo Rosaryo. Marami pong giyera ang nahinto dahil sa pagdarasal nang rosaryo. Isa na po dito ay dito mismo sa ating bansa. Noong nagkaroon ng People Power Revolution na nagkasama sama ang mga pilipino na pinangunahan ng mga pari at madre habang may hawak na rosaryo. Marami na rin pong ganitong pangyayari sa ibang bansa.

Mahalaga rin pong makita natin ang kahalagahan nang maayos na pagdarasal nito. Sinasabi po na sa bawat isang aba ginoong maria na ating sinasambit ay isang rosas ang ating ipinapadala kay Maria kaya naman dapat ay maging maayos ang ating pagbigkas nang mga ito para maganda at mabangong rosas ang matanggap ni Maria mula sa atin. Kahiya hiya po na magbigay tayo nang pangit na bulaklak sa ating minamahal. Ganoon din po kay Maria. Wag natin siyang bigyan nang pangit na bulaklak dahil sa ating pagmamadali sa pagdarasal.

Isa po sa magagandang dapat nating tandaan tungkol sa Santo Rosaryo ay ito po ay mainam na ating dasalin nang sama sama. Ang sabi nga po, “the family that prays together, stays together.” Ayon po sa isang librong nabasa ko, kung gaano daw po karami ang nagdarasal nang Santo Rosaryo ay ganoon din daw po karami ang dinarasal nang isa sa mga ito. Halimbawa po, tayong lahat na nandirito. Kung gaano po tayo karami ay ganoon din karami ang dinarasal ng bawat isa sa atin. Kung tayo po ay isang daan, ako po sa sarili ko ay nagdarasal nang isandaang rosaryo. Para pong sa misa, kung gaano karami ang paring nakikimisa ay ganoon din karami ang misang ating dinadaluhan. Maganda po na magnilay nang taimtim at mag-isa habang dinarasal ang Santo Rosaryo sapagkat dito po natin mapapalalim ang ating personal na ugnayan kay Maria at Hesus, pero mas maganda at mas kalugud-lugod po kung atin itong ibabahagi sa ating kapwa.

***

Para po sa akin, malaking bagay po ang Santo Rosaryo, hindi lamang sa mga Pari, Relihiyoso at relihiyosa, at sa aming mga magpapari mahalaga ang Rosaryo, kundi pati na rin sa inyo, sapagkat dito at sa pamamagitan nito ay ating mapararangalan ang kabanalang ipnakita ni Maria sa pamamagitan nang kanyang walang pag-aalinlangang pagsunod sa kalooban ng Diyos. Kung paano po ako tinutulungan ni Maria sa buhay seminaryo, gayun din naman po, sinisigurado kong kayo’y tutulungan din niya sa buhay ninyo. Ako po sa sarili ko ay nangangako na ipagdarasal ko kayo, habang nagdarasal nang Santo Rosaryo, nang sa gayon ay kayo’y maging mga kapatid ko sa pamamagitan nang ina natin na si Maria. (written for my sharing at St. Isidore Parish for the end of the Rosary Month October 28, 2016)

Dito ka na Kaibigan!

Pagkakaibigan.

Ito marahil ay isa sa mga salitang alam nang lahat. Marami itong pakahulugan. Marami itong ibig sabihin. Marami itong nais iparating. Ngunit, bigkasin mo ito sa isang tao at iisa lamang ang maiisip nito at iyon ay iyong mga taong kanyang minamahal, iniingatan, at pinahahalagahan. Kahit sino ay alam at siguradong maiintindihan ang salitang ito kaya naman maganda siguro kung ito ang gagamitin ko para ipaliwanag ang buhay ko dito sa seminaryo.

Naalala ko ang isang pagkakataon kung saan sa bigat ng aking nararamdaman ay parang ayaw ko nang bumalik. Hapon noon ng huling araw ng bakasyon ngunit hindi ko pa rin magawang maghanda para sa pagbalik dito sa seminaryo. Napilitan na lamang ako nang ako’y tulungan ng nanay ko.

Isa ang pagkakaibigan sa mga yaman na iniingatan at pinahahalagahan dito sa seminaryo. Kung susumahin, ito ang dahilan kung bakit ang isang gaya ko na dapat ay matagal nang lumabas ng seminaryo dahil sa mga problema ay nagagawa pa ring magpatuloy. Kung wala akong mga kaibigan dito, tiyak na ako ngayo’y hindi nagsusulat nito dito sa aking mesa.

Una akong pumasok ng seminaryo para baguhin ang buhay ko. Sinabi ko noon sa sarili ko natatapusin ko lamang ang isang taong pormasyon ko sa Pagbilao at magsisimula na ako nang panibago sa mga natutunan ko pero ang mga kaligayahan at kasayahang idinulot ng mga bago kong kaibigan ang aking malaking rason para ituloy ang buhay na pinasukan ko. Masayang magkaroon ng kaibigan at ito ang ibinigay sa akin ng seminaryo na kahit kelan ay hinding hindi ko matatawaran.

Pumasok ako dito sa college at dito ko mas naintindihan ang kahulugan at kahalagahan ng pagkakaibigan. Dito sa college, ang kasayahan ay nagmumula sa buong komunidad. Isipin nyo na lamang kung paano kayo nagiging masaya sa dalawa o tatlong kasama ay mas sasaya ka kung nakatira ka sa isang lugar, kumakain, tumutulog, nag-aaral, naglalaro at nagsasaya nang may walampu’t pitong kasama. Iba ang saya sa buhay ko dito at ito’y kahit na kailan ay hinding-hindi ko ipagpapalit sa kahit na anong bagay.

Ang buhay seminaryo ay buhay pormasyon. Ang buhay ng isang pari ang ipinakikita dito kaya naman ang hirap at mga problema ay mga bagay na hayagang ipinararanas at ipinapakita sa isang seminarista. Malungkot mawalay sa pamilya. Malungkot magtiis ng hindi sila nakakasama. Mahirap mabuhay ng iniintindi mo ang sarili mo habang ginagawa mo ang mga bagay na kailangan mo. Mahirap mabuhay lalo na kung hindi nasusunod ang mga kagustuhan mo. Mahirap magtiis ng hirap. Oo, ito nga ang buhay, pero sa bandang huli, lagi namang may katabing kaibigan.

Buong biyahe akong tulala at nag-iisip ng maraming bagay. Noon pa nga ay pinangarap kong maaksidente wag lamang akong makabalik. Tumigil ang sasakyan sa tapat ng semianryo pero ayaw ko pa ring bumaba. Maliit na bag lang ang bitbit ko pero parang ilang sakong bato ang nakasilid dito. Noon ko nakasalubong ang isa kong ka-seminarista, nakasimangot at kunot na kunot ang noo at sinabi niyang: “Tara na lalabas!”

Noon ko mas naintindihan ang mga bagay-bagay. Noon ko mas naunawaan at mas pinahalagahan ang pagkakaibigan.

Oo nga, mahirap ang buhay at talagang mahirap pero nakakayanan mo naman dahil may kaibigan ka, mga kaibigang katulad mo ring nahihirapan. Mga kaibigang kasama mong nakakaranas ng sakit at lungkot. May kaibigan kang aakay sayo kapag napagod ka o di kaya ay babagalan ang lakad kapag mabagal ka.

Oo nga, mahirap, pero tiyak namang hindi ka mag-iisa. Kaya naman nga, saan ka pa pupunta? Dito ka na! Kaibigan.

Ngumiti ako nang marinig ko ang mga salitang iyon at bumalik ng may hindi matawarang kaligayahan. (Vocation Campaign essay written for LSO Newsletter last October 16, 2016)

My Filipino'ness'

The commentary written by Christopher Ryan Maboloc was quite an eye-opener, if only it would be read by many – how philosophy serves its purpose in our country but despite that there is something bigger and more important than it. Only by now did I come to realize this thing. I guess I was even too dumb to grasp the fact that philosophy really is something with regards to giving our society the possibility for some progress, much more that there is something bigger which in my dumbness I’ve never known that I had with me all along.

            I’ve been into philosophy for more than two years already but only now did I come to my senses that philosophizing can envision me with great changes that can happen to this society where I myself belong, if I just tried to lend my attention to it for even so little a time.

            Karl Marx’s famous statement says that philosophers have only interpreted the world in various ways and that the point however was to change it. Maybe change is really something that can be put to actualization by philosophizing. Maybe it doesn’t just exist for us to interpret this world we are living in.

            I guess what was wrong in that statement of Marx is that it seemed like it despised the fact that philosophy was used in interpreting the world, which for me was a wrong move. I believe philosophy is destined not just to change the world but diagnose it as well in the very first place. Nothing’s going to change and no change can we possibly do if we don’t know anything as to how we should change it. The point is we should philosophize to interpret and understand the world so that we can have the knowledge that we need to do the so-called changes.

            In the article, it clearly stated how philosophizing identified the problems of our society, problems like our actions, globalization, self-centeredness, the ‘throw-away’ culture and so on. It’s so obvious that we’ve come to know these problems by philosophizing, much more to realize that it is all rooted in that same thing – philosophy. Wrong notions really tend to create havoc to us just like with the hell that is happening in us. A very good example is our very own president showing the utilitarian notion by killing those who are useless and thus disregarding the immorality of his actions. Philosophy is somehow what causes our problems for each and every bit of it is rooted in different notions. We’ve managed to know this through philosophy. Now, we might as well use philosophy to serve its purpose and that is none other than to bring changes.

“Doing philosophy in the margins” seems like a professional kind of act especially when it comes to actualizing some envisioned progress for our society. Yet Maboloc insists that the very act is rooted in our social solidarity. He even concluded his article that despite the interesting notions of Camus and Marcel, he emphasized on the richness of human life and that it goes far beyond the abstractions of continental thought. Why did he even come to saying this? Because he still believes that everything should first start with our selves being Filipinos.

Yes indeed. Philosophy is special in a way that it can always bring us the great changes, changes that our Philippine society need. Yet despite all of it, all of the interesting notions and big changes that they can possibly give, in one way or another we still have to go back to our very selves first because in the first place we should be what we should – a Filipino. And this, being the Filipino that we are is the start of it all and we should keep in mind that it will bring us more to ourselves than philosophy and its interesting notions. (Reaction Paper on Metaphysics.. written last September 8, 2016)